24/12/15, 06:00 PM
Posted by Fr. Gregory
It is important for us as a parish family to welcoming. To be family friendly. To be child friendly. I think we are all of those things, although this is something we have to work on continually. So we can always be better than we are with God's help. And we need to ask His help too. So please do pray that the Lord will keep on sending us more and more families to join our parish family – and that we will find a balance between prayerfulness, good order at the Divine Services, and being family friendly.
These things are not mutually exclusive, but if any one of them gets out of balance the whole thing can come crashing down. Friday night at Vigil it was a little crazy. The kids were a bit out of control. And that means that things were out of balance. And thus there was not prayerfulness and good order.
This is not to say we don't love children and that we don't want families to come to church. Of course we do! It would be a complete misreading of this note to understand this in any other way. But it is up to the parents to make sure that things don't get out of control. A few squawks or squeaks are not a problem of course. A little moving around is just fine. Screaming and running around during the services, though, is clearly not what we are shooting far as regards balance.
I am a father. My kids were young once. So they made some noise. We don't want someone with a child that is a little fussy to feel that they must flee. That is silly and counter productive to our mission of spreading the Orthodox Faith! The voice of children is in effect the voice of the choir warming up for our funerals. But screaming or even constant talking by the older kids really can't be considered OK. If infants or toddlers – a little break to allow some energy to be worked out is fine. For older kids – the parents have to step in. We really do love kids. But kids need guidance. And that guidance can't really come from someone else. It has to come from parents.
So – as we have just celebrated the feast of one of the great favorites of God – the patron saint of children – let's tall take some time to reflect a little bit. To consider what our role as parents is as regards having our kids in church. First and foremost: we must have our kids in church! Not in the kitchen. Not outside. Not in the nursery (which is for nursing mothers and toddlers). Secondly: we must help them to behave appropriately. And it would not be a bad idea at all to ask the prayers of St. Nicholas in this regard.
Let's all work together so that we can find the balance between prayerfulness, good order at the Divine Services, and being family friendly. I know we can do it with our sincere effort, the intercessions of St. Nicholas, and the merciful Lord's Grace. It is good that we have this problem. Many parishes wish they had the problem of having many kids in church. But I think we can do it right – so we strike the right balance. May the Lord grant it!
Fr. Gregory
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